The big surprise ...

So I've decided walking is a good time to catch up on my blogging (at least until I finally do faceplant into Mass Ave). And no blog post is more overdue than this one: hold on to your hats, folks, because I'm finally dating again.

Yes, you heard it here first, and you heard right. I think I now officially count myself as actively on the market and actively engaged in the world of relationship-search rituals. It's been first date season for the last 3 weeks at Casa de Moi, and I'm finding it generally enjoyable, not to mention mildly successful.

One of the secrets to my present success - at least in my opinion - is the search method I've chosen. Online dating is not new to most of my readers, but I'm willing to bet that adult online dating is not so familiar. As the title suggests, the site is for people in search of partners for adult (= sex) activities. I joined initially for the obvious purpose, as part of my general year-long tantrum against the Lord. After having my fill of that sort of thing (about a week), I decided to switch tacks a bit. It was a result of two very helpful realizations: yes, I'm more than able to find folks to have sex with if I ned to; but also, I like being a little more picky about who I share my time and body with, and I might not mind waiting for the right mate after all.

I did, however, need to be solidly convinced of that first item. As I've mentioned before (I seem to be always repeating myself), I felt like I had completely lost my sexuality, and that my womanliness and attractiveness were totally gone. I don't know if that's a core issue in the same way for others; but when my sexuality dried up, I felt like much of the rest of me was drying up with it, and I didn't know who I was without it. One may argue about my choice of methods, but having tangible evidence of my sex appeal allowed me to clear my mind for other things, and I do feel quite renewed. Happily, my renewal coincided with the period surrounding my birthday, so it was nice to celebrate an old birth with a rebirth.

Anyway, after my escapades were done, I revised my profile to start pointing toward more of what I really wanted - yes, someone who likes sex and likes sex with me, but who also has the brains and the interests and the drive and the social passions and the humor and the sweetness and all those other things that make a person truly enjoyable in or out of bed. The surprising revelation: this hasn't been incompatible with being on the site at all, and while I still get my share of nutty responses, I also find plenty of people who dig a more holistic, and even relationship-interested, orientation. I also am finding that this site eliminates one of my classic dating problems, which is that I have a very difficult time finding men who both interest me and find my race and body type appealing. Maybe it's because the sex thing is "already out there," as Harry would say, and we can speak frankly about the sexual attraction piece; whatever it is, I don't find myself having to constantly hope that the men I'm matched with will overlook their issues with my appearance because of my sparkling personality. And I know that I can be open about my sexual interests and desires without scaring someone off, because if they signed up for this site, they've been exposed to much, much more kinky things than I'll ever suggest. :-)

So there you go ... in contrast to my previous post, this part of my life right now is not at all boring. I'm moving into the second-date phase this week, with my first second date tomorrow. I hope to have some very nice stories to tell about Round 2!