Charade

Lightly men talk of saying what they mean … When the time comes to you at which you will be forced at last to utter the speech which has lain at the center of your soul for years … you’ll not talk about joy of words. I saw well why the gods do not speak to us openly, nor let us answer. Till that word can be dug out of us, why should they hear the babble we think we mean? How can they meet us face to face till we have faces? (C.S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces: A Myth Retold)

I don’t bother hiding from God, because I know he knows anyway; it’s a comfort, in fact, not to have to play games, and yet to know that He loves me regardless. But with people, who can you trust to be like that? It is safer to put on a façade, to be careful, correct, distant; to remain guarded and in control as much as you are able.

I wonder if it would be a good thing for us all to be laid bare. Oftentimes it is said to be good that we can’t read each other’s minds, because we won’t want to know the things we find out. But I wonder if we wouldn’t be better off that way, if we wouldn’t learn how to deal with others and ourselves truthfully for a change, and to accept our differences and peculiarities because it is so evident that we all have them. We might not be able to manipulate each other any more; we might have to face the results of our actions; we might have to learn how to change our hearts and attitudes instead of just our sound bites and slogans. Probably, though, we hide mostly because we don’t want to see our own faces; the greatest fear may not be having to live with other people, but having to live with ourselves.